The Harm Behind Harmless Gossip
We’ve all been there, a quiet aside after a meeting, a message sent with good intentions, a casual “Oh, did you hear about…?” It doesn’t feel like gossip in the moment. Sometimes we tell ourselves we’re helping others be supportive, preparing them to show up for someone who’s going through a hard time. But there is a line, and when it’s crossed, what appears to be innocent sharing can become a privacy breach with very real human consequences.
Picture someone navigating something deeply personal: a health challenge, a relationship breakdown, a family crisis, a difficult workplace situation. They confide in a small circle at work, trusting those people to hold the information gently and discreetly. Then it spreads, not maliciously, not dramatically, just quietly from person to person. “I’m only telling you because you’re close to them.” “I thought you already knew.” “They probably want support.” Each step feels minor to the person passing it along. No one feels like they are doing harm.
But within days, the person at the centre of it starts receiving messages. “I heard what happened, are you okay?” “Thinking of you.” “If you need anything, I’m here.” Every sender is kind. Every message is well intentioned. However together they deliver a devastating realisation: something private has become public, and it happened without their consent.
What outsiders don’t see is the impact on the person receiving those texts. Instead of feeling supported, they may feel exposed, embarrassed, betrayed, or suddenly out of control of their own story. They may feel forced to respond when they are not ready, or to acknowledge something they have not chosen to disclose. Each new notification reopens the wound. Each “I heard…” confirms the privacy breach. Each message reminds them that their experience is now circulating beyond the boundaries they set. This is how care, unintentionally, can cause hurt.
Personal information under the Privacy Act is broadly defined and includes health information, family circumstances, relationship status, or personal difficulties disclosed in confidence. When that information is collected or held by an employer or colleague in a work context, it is generally expected to be used only for the purpose for which it was shared and not disclosed further without consent. Passing it on informally, even out of sympathy, can amount to an unauthorised disclosure of personal information under the Privacy Act.
The Privacy Act also recognises that harm is not only financial. A privacy breach occurs when personal information is accessed, disclosed, or used without authorisation or accidentally, and it causes or is likely to cause serious harm. Serious harm includes significant emotional distress, humiliation, or loss of dignity. Being subjected to widespread, unsolicited contact about a private matter can therefore meet that threshold. What began as “just telling a few people” can therefore become both an ethical breach and, in some cases, a notifiable privacy breach for an organisation.
These breaches often occur in workplaces and communities where people care about one another and information flows easily. People believe that support requires awareness. They feel uncomfortable holding sensitive knowledge alone. There is also, quietly, the social currency of being “in the know.” And underneath it all sits a common misjudgement that if someone told me, it must not be secret. But being told something is not the same as being given permission to share it with others.
For organisations, the implications are practical as well as cultural. When personal information about someone circulates, even sympathetically, it can erode trust, create psychological harm, and expose the organisation to Privacy Act obligations, including breach assessment and possible notification. People watch how confidentiality is handled in everyday human moments, not only in formal HR matters. Leaders especially set the tone. When a leader shares personal details about a team member, even with concern, it signals that such sharing is acceptable, when it may not be.
Most of us genuinely want to be kind and supportive. We want to surround people with care. But care that arrives without consent can result in the individual feeling intruded upon and compromised. Support is strongest when it preserves dignity, not when it spreads someone else’s news.